Wednesday, 25 July 2018

White Feminism, Sexuality and Christianity.

Life Updates. 

Hey, all long time! I haven't been active but now I am back and ready. General life updates I graduated from University and will now be going on to do my Masters! Can't wait so excited. Also, I started an online shop for accessories Xora Monroe (CLICK HERE). So yeah I haven't been up to that much. 

White Feminism, Sexuality and Christianity. 

This is the main topic I want to discuss today because I have noticed when discussions surrounding sex, consent and sexual liberations is taking place there's an underlying narrative that sexual liberation can be practised through an act and not a state of mind.

I feel as though White Feminists have created a standard for which a woman's sexuality can be expressed, either by having multiple sex partners or an active sex life. You do not need to have sex in order to be sexually liberated, it is a state of mind and understanding that your body is yours no one else's, you also have a right to make certain decisions for your body, lastly, sexual liberation also means understanding the consequences of not caring for your sexual health.

This includes using proper protection, regular testing, and choosing the right sex partners.  Yes, random one-night stands are fun but are HIV, HERPES, and HPV? I also think sexual liberation means not sleeping with someone who isn't on the same wavelength as you. I cannot dictate now sexual liberation works but it would make more sense to sleep with someone who respects and understands that your body is yours. It is very counter-productive to engage sexually with a misogynist and complain afterwards about how the person treated you.

What I have seen so far is White Feminism (mainstream feminism) encourages sexual liberation without education, this isn't about the number of people you sleep with it is about who you are sleeping with - anyone can harbour an STI and it is very important for a woman to protect your body not because of society but for your sexual health and wellbeing. In addition, mental health is important, no matter what we may think sex is an exchange of energies, even prior to the physical aspect of things if you aren't careful in picking a partner who the person treats you after can affect your energy by what they say and how they act towards your sex life.

Slum Flower 

In the issue of Religion, generally, when the discussion of sexual liberation is happening there is an exclusion or more so a disgust towards religious women. Maybe not so much to the individual but the group or the religion.

 For example, the beautiful Slum Flower who created the positive #SAGGYBOOBSMATTER movement stated on her Instagram story that she "cannot believe in a God that doesn't let her pop her pussy when she wants to". The words, mixed with body language, the tone of disgust and ridicule it was just plain disrespectful and exclusionary (if that makes sense or is a correct use of the word.)

It could have been left to a simple that is not for me for xyz reasons. There is no need to disrespect and disregard other people decisions because it is not for you. As women, we need to think deeper about our actions and how we unknowingly exclude others. I do understand where she is coming from, religion as an institution created the rules and regulations regarding virginity, sex and women's bodies. These rules only applied to women while men were left to have sexual freedom. For example in society male masturbation is encouraged as much earlier age than female masturbation. The fact that Conservative Christians have virginity checks for girls and none for boys, or how society has punished every woman for Eve's actions. Thus the image of a temptress to led Adam to sin is still prominent today, that in certain countries FGM is practised and Breast Plating. There isn't a direct link between the temptress image of Eve and societies actions but it is often the root of these activities.

It is very funny, when you think about it because even in the Bible when David was lusting after Bathsheba the wife of Uria so much so to kill her husband and marry her, God was displeased and he was held accountable more than Bathsheba ( Biblical verse focuses on David). He ended up making a covenant with his eyes not to commit lust again.  Based on the Bible both parties are held accountable for their actions. It is the society that has placed the sole responsibility of lust and temptation on women and now, in turn, demonises women.

What I am simply trying to establish is that I do understand where Chidere is coming from but the manner in which it is expressed isn't the best and it looks down on women who have made that decision. It is very hypocritical and damaging to the feminist movement if we ostracise religious women from the discussion regarding sexuality. We can express dislike for a way of life in a respectful manner and not make others feel uncomfortable with the decisions they have made.


I think that White feminism praises the exclusion of religious women from discussions regarding sexuality. Mainly because they believe that religious women are not sexually liberated as they are waiting till marriage, keeping and restricting their sexual urges for a man. Sadly, sexual liberation has become something that needs to be confirmed by the act of sex not the thought process behind consent, body independence etc. Religious women make their own decisions for God, well for me at least, I am saving myself for God, not for a man, I am not mentally enslaved or brainwashed because I have decided to wait. I know what I want and I made a choice just as you have decided to do what you want with your body. As Feminists we need to do better, support each other choices and not degrade or look down on others for what they have decided to do with their bodies. Social media doesn't help the situation either, everyone wants to say shit for shock value and a "yasss sis" without thinking of who they are excluding from the movement.




Saturday, 17 February 2018

Primark Haul: Growth & Patience and Faith

Hey, all today we are talking Growth, Patience, and Faith! But as usual, let us start with outfit details.


The clutch and skirt were £5. When you go to Primark check the metal boxes, they have outlet stuff in there and it is often reduced to £5 or even lower.  So go get yourself a deal ladies!


The process of developing physically, mentally, or spiritually

There's no point in doing anything and if you know you are not going to grow in some manner. Growth can come in many ways, as stated above. The key to understanding growth is patience and faith. With my blogging sometimes I get all into my feelings that "I'm not growing .... the timeline I planned is not being achieved" but it takes time. Oprah Winfrey didn't become who she is in a blink of an eye, Rome wasn't built in a day and Mircosoft of Apple started small.

Time is key to allowing growth to take place, believe in your abilities and strengths then let the rest flow naturally. It is hard because you see other bloggers who are going to events and creating content they can sell and you would like to do that too. But remember you have to crawl before you walk. Everything is a process. There is a difference however between trusting the process and being lazy. If you want something and your not taking any sort of action, there is no way it will come to pass.


The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

When challenges come while one is growing patience is key also. Mainly because it will assist you in persevering through the hard times. When the followers are stagnant or when you are in a compromising position and you can't make content, patience is needed. It will help because you will end up seeing your current position as another process to growth and something you can learn from. One thing I know is that no condition is permanent. You may be stuck now but it won't be forever.

Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

You may be patient and willing to grow and learn but if you have no trust or confidence in your abilities it is all futile. Even I fall victim to things like this, questioning myself when I style outfits or make content "who will watch this" "I'm too fat to wear this I'm not like other curvy girls" "does anyone even read my blog?". This is what I think sometimes but I push those thoughts away and realize that negative thoughts aren't going to help my growth.  If I can't trust in my own abilities who else will? Sometimes I know we look for people to talk to and to help but it is better to be your own NO1 fan and be able to encourage yourself.

xoxo Lyza

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