Wednesday, 25 July 2018

White Feminism, Sexuality and Christianity.


Life Updates. 

Hey, all long time! I haven't been active but now I am back and ready. General life updates I graduated from University and will now be going on to do my Masters! Can't wait so excited. Also, I started an online shop for accessories Xora Monroe (CLICK HERE). So yeah I haven't been up to that much. 

White Feminism, Sexuality and Christianity. 

This is the main topic I want to discuss today because I have noticed when discussions surrounding sex, consent and sexual liberations is taking place there's an underlying narrative that sexual liberation can be practised through an act and not a state of mind.

I feel as though White Feminists have created a standard for which a woman's sexuality can be expressed, either by having multiple sex partners or an active sex life. You do not need to have sex in order to be sexually liberated, it is a state of mind and understanding that your body is yours no one else's, you also have a right to make certain decisions for your body, lastly, sexual liberation also means understanding the consequences of not caring for your sexual health.

This includes using proper protection, regular testing, and choosing the right sex partners.  Yes, random one-night stands are fun but are HIV, HERPES, and HPV? I also think sexual liberation means not sleeping with someone who isn't on the same wavelength as you. I cannot dictate now sexual liberation works but it would make more sense to sleep with someone who respects and understands that your body is yours. It is very counter-productive to engage sexually with a misogynist and complain afterwards about how the person treated you.

What I have seen so far is White Feminism (mainstream feminism) encourages sexual liberation without education, this isn't about the number of people you sleep with it is about who you are sleeping with - anyone can harbour an STI and it is very important for a woman to protect your body not because of society but for your sexual health and wellbeing. In addition, mental health is important, no matter what we may think sex is an exchange of energies, even prior to the physical aspect of things if you aren't careful in picking a partner who the person treats you after can affect your energy by what they say and how they act towards your sex life.

Slum Flower 

In the issue of Religion, generally, when the discussion of sexual liberation is happening there is an exclusion or more so a disgust towards religious women. Maybe not so much to the individual but the group or the religion.

 For example, the beautiful Slum Flower who created the positive #SAGGYBOOBSMATTER movement stated on her Instagram story that she "cannot believe in a God that doesn't let her pop her pussy when she wants to". The words, mixed with body language, the tone of disgust and ridicule it was just plain disrespectful and exclusionary (if that makes sense or is a correct use of the word.)

It could have been left to a simple that is not for me for xyz reasons. There is no need to disrespect and disregard other people decisions because it is not for you. As women, we need to think deeper about our actions and how we unknowingly exclude others. I do understand where she is coming from, religion as an institution created the rules and regulations regarding virginity, sex and women's bodies. These rules only applied to women while men were left to have sexual freedom. For example in society male masturbation is encouraged as much earlier age than female masturbation. The fact that Conservative Christians have virginity checks for girls and none for boys, or how society has punished every woman for Eve's actions. Thus the image of a temptress to led Adam to sin is still prominent today, that in certain countries FGM is practised and Breast Plating. There isn't a direct link between the temptress image of Eve and societies actions but it is often the root of these activities.

It is very funny, when you think about it because even in the Bible when David was lusting after Bathsheba the wife of Uria so much so to kill her husband and marry her, God was displeased and he was held accountable more than Bathsheba ( Biblical verse focuses on David). He ended up making a covenant with his eyes not to commit lust again.  Based on the Bible both parties are held accountable for their actions. It is the society that has placed the sole responsibility of lust and temptation on women and now, in turn, demonises women.

What I am simply trying to establish is that I do understand where Chidere is coming from but the manner in which it is expressed isn't the best and it looks down on women who have made that decision. It is very hypocritical and damaging to the feminist movement if we ostracise religious women from the discussion regarding sexuality. We can express dislike for a way of life in a respectful manner and not make others feel uncomfortable with the decisions they have made.

Conclusions

I think that White feminism praises the exclusion of religious women from discussions regarding sexuality. Mainly because they believe that religious women are not sexually liberated as they are waiting till marriage, keeping and restricting their sexual urges for a man. Sadly, sexual liberation has become something that needs to be confirmed by the act of sex not the thought process behind consent, body independence etc. Religious women make their own decisions for God, well for me at least, I am saving myself for God, not for a man, I am not mentally enslaved or brainwashed because I have decided to wait. I know what I want and I made a choice just as you have decided to do what you want with your body. As Feminists we need to do better, support each other choices and not degrade or look down on others for what they have decided to do with their bodies. Social media doesn't help the situation either, everyone wants to say shit for shock value and a "yasss sis" without thinking of who they are excluding from the movement.


XOXO

Lyza


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Saturday, 17 February 2018

Primark Haul: Growth & Patience and Faith


Hey, all today we are talking Growth, Patience, and Faith! But as usual, let us start with outfit details.



TOP, SKIRT, SHOES, AND CLUTCH: PRIMARK OUTLET

The clutch and skirt were £5. When you go to Primark check the metal boxes, they have outlet stuff in there and it is often reduced to £5 or even lower.  So go get yourself a deal ladies!


Growth 


The process of developing physically, mentally, or spiritually

There's no point in doing anything and if you know you are not going to grow in some manner. Growth can come in many ways, as stated above. The key to understanding growth is patience and faith. With my blogging sometimes I get all into my feelings that "I'm not growing .... the timeline I planned is not being achieved" but it takes time. Oprah Winfrey didn't become who she is in a blink of an eye, Rome wasn't built in a day and Mircosoft of Apple started small.

Time is key to allowing growth to take place, believe in your abilities and strengths then let the rest flow naturally. It is hard because you see other bloggers who are going to events and creating content they can sell and you would like to do that too. But remember you have to crawl before you walk. Everything is a process. There is a difference however between trusting the process and being lazy. If you want something and your not taking any sort of action, there is no way it will come to pass.



Patience 


The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

When challenges come while one is growing patience is key also. Mainly because it will assist you in persevering through the hard times. When the followers are stagnant or when you are in a compromising position and you can't make content, patience is needed. It will help because you will end up seeing your current position as another process to growth and something you can learn from. One thing I know is that no condition is permanent. You may be stuck now but it won't be forever.



Faith
Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

You may be patient and willing to grow and learn but if you have no trust or confidence in your abilities it is all futile. Even I fall victim to things like this, questioning myself when I style outfits or make content "who will watch this" "I'm too fat to wear this I'm not like other curvy girls" "does anyone even read my blog?". This is what I think sometimes but I push those thoughts away and realize that negative thoughts aren't going to help my growth.  If I can't trust in my own abilities who else will? Sometimes I know we look for people to talk to and to help but it is better to be your own NO1 fan and be able to encourage yourself.



xoxo Lyza





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Friday, 9 February 2018

Puma Plus Street Wear



Hey all! Hope everyone is having a great week! This week we are talking streetwear, in the Plus Size Community. First, we are going to start with the outfit details.



Top from Asos  (sadly out of stock but look here for alternatives) 
Jean Old ones just wear any Blue Jeans
Shoes from Deichman 
Accessories from TheAfrostylist



The main reason why I want to have this discussion is that I do feel like the plus community is quite narrow and stringent. It often dictates what plus size women want to wear, for example, mainstream sizes can get any sort of clothes they want even within the brand's shop. But for plus sizes, its completely different, these brands automatically assume that plus size women won't want to wear a two-piece suit or set.

All, I see is baggy clothes weird looking tracksuits and tunics. To be honest, now I am just tired. But the new Puma Plus wear is quite nice and also very fitting and I haven't got the budget to get it but I am just so happy that we have a nice option.

         

   

I would love for alternative wear for plus size women, let plus size girls from ends be able to get tracksuits that are not in the mens section. If there is big and tall for guys there should be the same for girls we can not assume that plus size women are automatically the same height but different sizes.

CONCLUSION

This is short and sweet just expressing my views and being excited about the new Plus Puma line. But yeah I hope there is more to come. I am quite alternative sometimes in how I dress and I cant bring my visions to life when the sizes are just so weird. All in all check out the Puma street wear line!

xoxox Lyza


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Thursday, 1 February 2018

Lady In Red: Love & Gender Roles





Hey all! Hope all is well, sorry for the late post had an essay to submit and had to leave the blogging life for a min. But we are back now better than ever! 


As usual, we will begin with outfit details!


TOP IS FROM PRIMARK £4 (all my uni girls, this is a good buy you can wear it with a bright bottom and just look boujee at the same time. Remember to wash with all whites or with your hands) 

TROUSERS IS FROM FASHIONNOVA
BAG AND SCARF FROM PRIMARK


As all know this month of February is the month of love and everything Valentine. So today we are talking Love, Gender Roles, and the Black Community. 




Love


To me, love is unconditional in all manners and your physical appearance doesn't determine how much you love that person. I have never been in love but I have been infatuated, had a crush and even thought I was in love but little did I know that it was far from that. For all my plus size girls this month try to be a bit more open. If you receive flowers or get asked out as long you want to, have fun and engage with it.


 Don't limit yourself from having an experience or just meeting someone new because you have your own insecurities.  Take your time, don't rush anything and don't go out with someone if you know they are going to make you feel uncomfortable or coerce you into doing something you may not want to do. Lastly, don't accept bread crumbs or leftovers when you know you deserve diamonds.  












Gender Roles. 


There has been a lot flying around Twitter, about different expectations of relationships, who pays on the first date and who buys gifts. To be honest, I don't believe in a guy paying for my food or drink compulsorily. I feel as though guys who ask a girl on a date pay for everything and have these expectations at the end. Before I used to think a guy has to pay for the date and do the most with the flowers etc. If as a Feminist I am pushing for equality in all areas, why can't I pay for the first date? A good friend said to me that is how you check a guy has respect for you. 


When it comes to the second date and he has an expectation for you to pay again then you need to either correct him or trash him (don't speak to him again). However, it is a personal decision. I am the type of person to buy guys flowers if we're going on a date. First, because it is funny. Second, it is to fight against the notion that only girls like flowers or romantic gifts. I would either find out what he likes generally, I feel that as a woman completely empty-handed to a date is kinda awkward. But again it is personal, I just don't want gender roles to be relevant in my relationship. 


Guys are so hyper-masculine these days, it inflates their ego when they pay for girls expenses or they feel less of a man because a girl buys him flowers. I am not about that, to be honest. I'm in a relationship because I love and respect my partner, I am not present in the relationship to inflate your ego. 



All in all this Valentine have fun, experience new things and be responsible! 



xoxo Lyza




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Monday, 15 January 2018

Transitional Style: Body Positivity & Relationships


Hey all! Hope everyone has had a good week. Today I'm starting a new segment called Transitional Wear, essentially what it entails is that I will transition seasonal outfits to fit another season. It will also include clothes from a different fashion season/collection and even outfits that straight sized people wear can be transitioned to plus size women. Helping on saving money on seasonal clothes and also just helps with styling tips as well.


As usual, we are, to begin with, the outfit details:
 The TRENCH COAT IS FROM ASOS
HALTER NACK FROM PRIMARK
BLACK DRESS FROM NEWLOOK

         


TRANSITIONAL 

With the Black Dress I got it during the summer. It came with a white summer t-shirt. Now, it's a lot of hassle buying something you can only wear for one season so I decided to switch the white summer t-shirt with a long sleeve halter neck. This changes the outfit into a complete winter look, now with the legs being out you can wear tights aswell. Personally I prefer having my legs out. Then instead of a Mac or thin outerwear, just slap on a long trench that reaches your ankles and were done. You can easily button up to cover your legs.
       


BODY POSITIVITY & RELATIONSHIPS

This isn't a whole segment on how you should always love yourself etc etc. This is the truth and reality that comes with being body positive. Even if you are body positive there are times when you feel that your body may not be the best or that your not as beautiful as others. Loving yourself consistently is hard and you need to be strong, but when you beghin to question your notion of body positivity there is nothing wrong with you. It doesn't make you any less body positive as the next person because remember body positivity is relative and personal. Even that in itself has taken some time for me to understand. Thats what body positivity is all about, even when you have those thoughts it's your approach to them that matters. Then you need to make a decision am I going to let 5 seconds of doubt ruin the self love I am building for myself.

With Relationships, I often feel as though as a single person being body positive is alot easier. Having a partner who supports you in your ideals of body positivity also helps a lot because when you're in a relationship physical attraction plays a serious role. That's my worried and often put my gaurd up with relationships, and I try to be very observant. Which is kinda sad but either way thats my defence mechanism. But I am trying to change that and be open minded because if you don't get involved one can never know truly how one feels.

Love often changes peoples mindset. Though you may meet someone that might not be attracted to plus size women which is a personal choice. Personality can change things and it may grow to become something else. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying "yeah wait for love to change another person" but when you start out as friends you never really know the future. I feel as though when you love someone, chances are you don't actually care about what they look like.




All in all, hope you guys had a good read!

xo xo Lyza

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Friday, 12 January 2018

Short & Sweet: Influenster Vox Box



Hey all! This is the first segment of the Short and Sweet series, here I give a short commentary of PR packages or VoxBoxes sent from Influenster in order for a review. 

Now I received two Highliners from Marc Jacobs through Inflenster. All these opinions are my own! 


PRICE: You can buy these in John Lewis for £20, this is quite pricey as a student you may want to think about how you are going to budget for this. It is either you splurge at once or you can save over time, or just wait till the sales hit.

QUALITY: I think this is an A1 product. It is worth the £20 because it is highly pigmented especially for my melanin girls out here. I got the colours EARTHQUAKE and DEJA BLUE, for my skin tone earthquake can't  be used as a waterline but I used it as an eyebrow pencil. This is what I love about the product it has multiple uses from eyebrow to lip liner and eyeliner. I used the earthquake as a lip liner and I was over joyous. Finally, a colour that I can you as a liner and it is slightly darker than my skin tone for a nude lip.

Overall I love the pigmentation, the shades and the rolling function. There's no need to sharpen simply twist up the top of the pencil. My only issue is the price but apart from that, it's a good product and a good buy.

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Monday, 8 January 2018

Pink Panther: New Year Aims and Goals


Hey all,  Welcome to 2018 hope everyone started the year well and good! Today I'm going to talk about my outfit, the things I want for 2018 from my blog to education and personal projects.



First my outfit details I'm wearing a Boohoo two-piece in the color blush and Puma slides. Links to the clothes are in the widget. The inspiration for this outfit was the FleekBop song by the Mela Twins, I am in love with the song, the aesthetics just everything! Melanin and Pink combination actually looks the best. Lucky for me I got the Puma slides for £1.50 because of the ASOS voucher points which reduced the price.

The Hat is from LABI WEARS
Necklace is from AFROSTYLIST & ASOS



         




BLOGGING 
I am proud of my blog so far but I have a vision for it and I feel like I am quite close to achiving this vision.

Overarching Goal: 
Produce content of value for readers and express myself, giving others courage and confidence.

Aims

  1. Build Traffic: as much as I want to push out content and inspire others I cant do so if not one is reading. Don't get me wrong I am absolutely thanbksful for the readers I have so far but I wnat to push higher and grow. I mainly use instragram to drive traffic to my blog but I want to start using other social media apps, recently started getting the hang of twitter and joined a Black Blogger Community on Pintrest. So far, I am getting there as usual I will keep on working hard and doing my best. 
  2. Be consistent: Consistency is key. I don't feel like I am consistent with my blog and that links to traffic as well. So I decided to start uploading twice a week Monday and Friday.  I have planned it so that I just don't end up pushing aimless content out. 
  3. Have Self-discipline: If I say I am going to upload twice a week I will and must do so. If there is something I need for my blog or other things aswell I must be able to sacrifice certain pleasures to achieve my aim/goal.




EDUCATION 

I'm in my final year of University and it has been a bit stressfull so far. However, I am quite positive for 2018 the second semester is different as I have two essay based modules and one exam based.  I am happy and looking forward to the work and learning new topics.

Overarching Goal :  
Get a good degree classification and make sure all my years of sweet blood and tears dont go to waste. 
Aim 

  1. Seek help when it is needed : I allowed my personal situation from the past to affect my present temporarily and I won't allow that to happen again. When studying or working becomes a struggle, I will seek help when its needed. Be more open to accepting help form others.
  2. Set up a timetable: Have a structured timetable to help me achive my goal, this will ensure the work is done and I dont feel like I am not in control of my studies. 
  3. Set up an Action Plan : Every study time comes with an action plan. List of things that need to be done and will be done. 


PERSONAL PROJECTS

The projects I have coming this year is going to be lit! My Youtube Channel is coming soon I'm going to be posting some lookbooks and reviews. My aim is to get to 100 subcribers before I drop my first lookbook so please subscribe guys. I also have some projects that I can't disclose yet but I am quite optimistic and I'm looking forward to this year and all it brings.


I hope everyone is feeling as optimistic and happy as I am this new year!

xoxo

Lyza.

     
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